Ambivalent, not apthetic

Karen alerted me to news that 20 cyclists participating in one of the weekly rides in Kansas City got pulled over and ticketed -- to the tune of $95 each -- for running a stop sign, presumably all in a group.

Now, I'm not going to point fingers DIRECTLY at the weekly ride, or the nefarious behavior of the local yacht bicycle club, but suffice it to say, I'm torn. I most certainly do not want to stand in their defense. At the same time, I can't say I feel sorry for them.

They had it coming, but their transgressions as a group aren't much different than the transgressions I witness frequently -- by motorists, cyclists and pedestrians alike. It just so happened that this group was preyed upon because it was easy, predictable pickings. Entrapment? Please.

I feel that this will give a lot of the bike haters (and believe me, there are many in this town) a reason to say "we told you so!", and that sets a bad precedent. While I don't know how the math works out statistically due to how unbalanced the transportation mode shares are, I can say that I see a LOT of motorists doing the same things that they accuse cyclists of. And I see a lot of pedestrians pulling some of the most asinine and brazen of jaywalking stunts, too (and NO ONE complains about them)

If cops are going to get into the business of camping out near intersections for the purpose of issuing "failure to stop" tickets, I would bet that Warren can think of an intersection that might be a good candidate...

Our society has become fueled almost entirely by entitlement and superlative self-importance. We're talking about a culture of individuals who in the not-too-distant future may happily throw all of humanity under the bus to spare their own existence.

Quota of villainy

Being the end of the month, I can only guess that several events from the past few days must be due to some kind of quota system, where certain folks begin reflecting upon the litany of the month's transgressions, tallying their misdeeds and scheming ways to set new personal records.

Yesterday, people were shooting fireworks at me. Cute, 2 ounce projectiles which may or may not end with a bang. No biggie. Annoying, but mostly harmless.

This morning, whilst cruising southbound on Quivira, I notice a blue VW New Beetle behind me. Nothing new here. Turn signal goes on. Beetle kind of changes lanes, but ends up straddling. I'm taking the center of the lane, so this guy is a very close pass. I'm approaching a red light, and wondering what exactly the driver is planning. Next to me now, as I drop my arm signalling a stop, he moseys on in to hog my lane, leaving me to retreat to the (thankfully empty) right turn lane. I pound on his door. He stares straight ahead. Light turns green and he's off. Meh.

As I slog up the Quivira viaduct all alone at 6:00 AM, the light at the apex of the climb turns red. There's a "T" intersection at the top of the viaduct. Soon, cars begin turning from this ramp, going north and south on Quivira. In my mirror, I spot a yellow New Beetle behind me a good ways, and see the motorist signal to change lanes. As I stop at the red light, more cars are flowing out into the intersection. The yellow Beetle doesn't stop, nor slow down. The lady just blew right through the intersection (which was thankfully clear at the moment) at 45 MPH as if she had a green light.

I'm calling it Attack Of The Beetles. I'll refrain from making the leap that New Beetle "Drivers" (if you can call what these two were doing "driving") are assholes, but they were batting a thousand this morning.

Then, I got this gem via email from Karen. I guess she's had a heck of a week as well.

Subject: Smacking a bum
Well it finally happened. Under the highway bridge around the corner from Boulevard brewery, a bum with his morning beer in a sack in his hand, he was drinking it. He stepped out of the bushes in front of me, it was a close call. I'm so polite, I said excuse me. I didn't hit him, but it was close.

Riding your bike to work is so exciting, who would want to drive a car. This and a gallon of paint, all in the same week.

I suppose by "Quota of villainy" I really mean "Quota of inattention" -- after all, I'd really just like road users to focus on the task of transportation (instead of ignoring vehicles that they're about to run off the road or texting the lady friends that they're on their way to a firey death Einstein Brothers Bagels) and be a little more careful. It's safer for everyone, and I'm talking to cyclists, joggers, and motorists alike.

Oh, the "Gallon of Paint" that Karen mentioned above was a real treat. A bucket of paint fell off of a truck in front of her and she rode through the mess it left on the roadway. This led to a squirrely ride over the railroad tracks and all kinds of tasty road debris sticking to the paint on her tires. Fortunately, nothing caused a flat.



More flags. I was trailing an older lady on a 1990s Trek 2100 most of the way on Turkey Creek trail.


I need a beer, darn it. Boulevard is a local craft brewer. All the beers I've bought from them have used twist-off caps (aside from smokestack series, which are 750ml bottles with a cork). Odd, then, that they use a pry-off cap when bottling their attempt at making a Boring Yellow Pilsner at a cheaper-than-usual price point.


Okay, this Pilsner's really not that bad, but it is kind of boring for a Boulevard beer. I'm not sure what I expected. It's definitely a beer to pair with more delicate flavors, or perhaps one to just crack open on a hot summer day after a good bike ride.

Karma

I had two people fire bottle rockets at me today on the homeward commute, probably 5 miles apart. Strange. One of them actually hit my foot. The other was an epic miss.

In my ignorant youth, I probably targeted dozens of moving things (mostly cars but inevitably some joggers, cyclists, maybe even dogs) with any number of small fireworks, homebrew machine-launched incendiaries, and model rocket engines. I suppose this is payback. Bottle rockets don't really hurt anyway, so I chuckled.

I do, however, wish that someone would start paying me back for the hundreds if not thousands of water balloons I've lobbed in my day. Oh well. Karma will catch up to me one of these days, right?

Here are some from the weekend.

Climbing Trees. I miss doing this. I got about 30 feet up in my parents' maple tree, just enough to see over their house and into the back yard. Why? Mostly to see if I could still climb this tree -- a childhood favorite of mine.


c'Dude fixin' up my wheels. They were a bit out of true and I really didn't feel like messing with the Aksium's aero spokes. He has the tools to do it, and hanging with The Dude always makes for good conversation about all kinds of unlikely things.


Praise team practice. Usually, I'm on Bass Guitar. Somehow, I got convinced to try playing the Djembe in public. I don't suppose I did too poorly but I have a feeling that there is a lot more to learn about this drum than meets the eye.


From the homeward commute. I used to drive one of these wretched vans. I lasted about 3 months and couldn't take it anymore. It was the worst job I ever had, and I still have no idea what I was thinking.


Merriam is all done up with flags for Independence Day, as usual.


It looks like our cucumber plants in the container garden are coming along nicely. I wish I could have said the same for the radishes.

Brisk!

With the nice weather we'd been having, I took the liberty of removing the full beard I'd allowed to invade my face. Perhaps that was a mistake. This morning, 15°F. *shiver*

To make matters worse, there was a huge water main break this morning right outside my building.


2 seconds after photographing this self-proclaimed "LFTWING", the driver tossed a bunch of trash out the driver's side window. Lots of typical Democrat flair on this car, including World Wildlife Fund and Obama/Biden. Way to lead by example.


Taken yesterday on my way home. Mt. Dew is yummy! No, I didn't recycle the can (there's no convenient way in my apartment complex) but at least I put it in a garbage bin and not in the road.


In other news, if you ride your bike on the Kansas Side, you should probably check out the 5-County Regional Transportation Study. The Johnson County meeting will be at MANU's Cook Center Tuesday, February 24 from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

Random Tunage:
Way Out West - Apollo
Human League - Human

The game of the day...

On the homeward commute, the game was "wave as emphatically as possible to those who honk at you" - There were a few. Kind of odd, since I haven't gotten honked at in weeks. I don't really care too much, as I was enjoying the weather! I opted to believe they were just saying "hi" although the one guy that honked again while flipping me off out the driver's side window after he saw me wave probably was genuinely displeased with my presence on the road. Hopefully his day got a little better and he wasn't 8 and a half seconds late for whatever it was he was on his way to.

I've said it before, but people aren't really mad at cyclists. They're just angry people looking to vent their frustrations. This particular one was honking from 3 cars behind me as I climbed up toward 18th St. Expressway. He gave me plenty of room, he was just hurried.


A funny observation I've made lately is that the bicycle club mailing lists are just burning up with "HEY! I'm riding tonight! Come with!" style e-mails. Most of the regular weekly social and training rides fell off the bike club calendar in mid-September, so who can blame them? It's freaking NICE out in the afternoons! Why waste it?

Hybridzilla - Stolen

My Red Diamondback Outlook was stolen sometime today, right in front of my apartment near 87th St. Pkwy and Quivira Rd.

It's a cheapo bike I snagged off craigslist, but it's my primary mode of transportation, and I'd kind of like it back.

• 1999 Diamondback Outlook - Red
• Weinmann ZAC19 Wheels
• Forte Slick City ST Tires
• White bottle cage
• Clipless pedals with the test platforms still on them (for tennis shoes)
• Giant(tm) Fenders
• Blackburn cargo rack
• Lots of reflective tape

It's unmistakably set up as a hybridized commuter bike (I called her "Hybridzilla"), and she's pretty hard to miss. I'd imagine all my accessories (DiNotte headlight, etc) are long gone, but the bike will probably be around somewhere. If you see a red Diamondback Outlook around (especially if it's set up anything like I described above), let me know. I've attached a photo.

All my other bikes are down and out in need of repair, so the sooner I find her, the better off I'll be.

Exciting! Drama! On Your Left!

This was originally written on 7/31, but Blogger was on the fritz and wouldn't let me post it. Here it is, a few days late.

So, how's everyone doing? I've been keeping up on your blogs (for those who've commented here and have a blogger profile that links to such) so it sounds like everyone's doing quite well. Congrats to Jason for damn near doubling the amount of miles I got this month, all the while driving your car ZERO times in July. Crazy guy. That's an awesome achievement.

I've had a pretty exciting day.

I went ahead and took the bus to work, like I have been for a while. 5.5 miles every day. Blah. But you know what? I feasted upon beans, rice, pasta, and cheaptastic food for the last week. I spent a mere pittance on survival. And today was pay day. I got the plane ticket for the convention I am going to. My wife and I still need to survive till next payday, and the budget will be kind of tight, but we're in the clear for the most part.

This afternoon, the bug bit me. I had to ride all the way home. The temperatures were in the 80s, which seems pretty cool given some recent hot days. The wind wasn't bad. The air was calling to me to ride. I caught up with Karen by the brewery. She got back from RAGBRAI and has been riding solo the past few days while I take the bus. My cameraphone takes some pretty trippy motion pics:





I got home and the legs were still itching for some miles. I couldn't hold back. No, I had to do the Brookside Ride. I got there plenty early and tested out the PDA I'm planning on using at the convention. It works fine.


It was kind of funny, a stretch of road buried in Mission Hills was torn up for resurfacing. A lot of the riders took it pretty slow, Some of us (like me, with 32mm tires) just kept rolling right along. For me, that meant something in the neighborhood of 12-15 MPH -- I'm NOT fast. All the people who didn't bother slowing down went very wide around the slower folks, who were pretty much sticking near the right gutter. When we got to the first re-group, one lady began scolding every last one of those (me, too) who passed her without an "on your left!" Sorry, I don't think warning is needed when you're passing with a 10-foot berth and at a speed differential of 5 MPH.

I laughed. One of the roadies took it pretty personally, and it almost came to fisticuffs. Eff-Bombs a-plenty, finger pointing and beating of chests. I kept laughing. I almost apologized to the lady after getting scolded, but as I was riding over to her, all hell broke loose and I really didn't feel like getting in her crosshairs. "If you can't follow the ettiquite, don't come on this ride!"

I'll tell you what. If proper ettiquite for the ride is all about picking fights and calling people names, perhaps I *wont* go on that ride. Way to lead by example, curmudgeonly lady. My new troll, "Weston" is going to comment on this, as it's a great example of how I belittle people who are not me. Watch the comments. If you haven't seen his work, it's second to...well, okay. It's snarky, full of misinformation and easy to dismiss, but still good for a chuckle.

I somehow got tangled up between two group rides. On Thursday, the Brookside ride and the Blue Moose ride both cruise a lot of the same roads. The Blue Moose crowd is usually made of riders much faster than I -- or most of the Brooksiders for that matter. I ended up following some Blue Moose stragglers (the slow ones that I could keep up with) back to their start point. That's fine with me, because Prairie Village is closer to home than Brookside. I chatted with JCBC's president (who leads that ride) for a while, then went along my merry way.

Somewhere just past 85th street on Santa Fe Drive, a 1990's Blue Ford Explorer decided to ride my ass while laying on the horn. I chortled merrily without looking back, and pointed to the desolate left lane, where no one was driving. The klaxon remained engaged. After about a whole minute of constant horn, the motorist pulled alongside me, driving between the lanes. Horn is still wailing. I finally paid him a courtesy glance to see what in the world could be so important as to warrant nearly two minutes of honking. The man, was pointing to something. me? No. Well, kind of. I kept my line and began formulating this very part of my blog post in my mind, JUST for Weston.

Oh yes, much loathing of another person who is conveniently NOT me was happening again. It's an epidemic, I swear. Then, I started to get crowded between the SUV and the curb. This had gone from an entertaining but annoying motorist to a dangerous and malevolent one. Once stopped, I was called all sorts of names and understood the word "sidewalk" through a very thick accent that I can't place. "Do you have a driver's licence? Did you read the state handbook? I am supposed to use the road." I said calmly, pretty much at the same time as he continues to scream obscenities at me, now honking intermittently. The light turned green. I laughed. He kept ranting.

Eventually, a few people behind us honked, and he took off, cutting over as if to get in my way. I wasn't going anywhere until he'd gotten past me. Big surprise: he went straight for the liquor store, and I was already on the phone with 911. One Overland Park Police station basically shares a parking lot with that strip mall. I was informed to come to the station since talking to an officer directly would be easier. Before I rode there, I got a good snapshot of his vehicle. I wish I would have thought to stop and show that it was parked at the liquor store.



Anyhow, one police report filed. He'll get a visit from someone tomorrow. If he's stupid enough to admit he harassed me, he'll get cited for road rage. Either way, he'll be briefed first-hand on Kansas laws by an officer, and that's all I really want. It WOULD be epic if this guy said "Yes, that moron was on the road, I kept honking..." to the officer. I'll keep an eye on the case number. :)

No harm done at all, and I was ready to hop up on the curb if I had to. I just don't feel like being victimized anymore. One broken face is enough. Rather than flex my vocal cords or retaliate, I'll just keep letting the boys in blue do their jobs.

I wrapped up today with a little more than 50 miles. And I feel a lot better. I'll probably ride to and from work tomorrow, since it's the first friday of the month. That means it's 2600 time at "The Maul" - We gotta get our geek on!

A killer walks free

This is a tragic update of the Larry and Sierra Gaunt saga. Monday, jury selection began for the trial of William Johnson in the deaths of the Grandfather-Granddaughter cycling duo as they trained for last year's MS-150 fund raiser.

The trial went quite a bit quicker than I'd expected, and the decision went to jury early today as the prosecutor rested its case. After five hours of deliberation, William Johnson was found not guilty of involuntary manslaughter.

This whole case sickens me. The way the law treats gross criminal negligence of motorists sickens me.

It's one thing to give the motorist nothing but a slap on the wrist when the cyclist was riding erratically, breaking laws, after dark without any lights or reflectors. This was in broad daylight on a wide, open road. Simply living with the knowledge that you killed two people should not count as a just punishment.

Folks, there are concealed-carry laws in both Kansas and Missouri. Perhaps it's time to start riding in flocks and packing some heat. I have zero faith in our officials and legal system to protect us as cyclists in this city.

Evil Squids

No, I'm not talking about Bruce Schneier's oddly humorous fascination with squids that seems to manifest itself every Friday...

Among the new bikes that I'm seeing on the road are the motorized variety. No, not two-stroke mountain bike conversions. I'm talking motorcycles. With these new motorcycles and scooters come "squids", that is, newbies without any motorcycle handling skills whatsoever. Technically a portmanteau of "squirrely kids", squids kill their engines when taking off from a stop light. They rev their engines to redline while stopped for no reason. The do wheelies on public roads. They can't ride a straight line. They're dangerous. I saw plenty of them this morning, and had to swerve to avoid one that killed the engine right in front of me.

Aside from being in sheer awe that I've found some of my two-wheeled cousins are actually dumber than the wrong way bike ninjas, this morning was relatively calm. I still haven't gotten caught up on my lost sleep from Sunday-Into-Monday.

How about something more pleasant? I was greeted with a striking sunrise this morning.


Also, I've been getting out on the road later than usual, by about five minutes. I keep running into trains on my way to work this week, causing my five-minute delayed departure to become a ten-minute delayed arrival. I need to get my indolent posterior out the door on time tomorrow. I suppose that also means I need to actually go to bed at a reasonable hour this evening.

Random Tunage:
Ian Van Dahl - Castles In The Sky
Laurent Wolf - Happy TV

Such a dweeb

I left my camera at work today, apparently.

That kind of sucks, because I forgot to show off the new low-mounted halogen setup. Okay, it's my old NiteRider setup, but positioned on the fork as a "fog" light for bad weather and/or backup. Why's it down there? I'd love to hoodwink you with some scientific mumbo-jumbo about how light from down low cuts back on glare from fog and rain because of the reflection angle or something, but the truth is that I, Captain Dashboard, have no more room on the handlebars amd stem for both the NiteRider's lamp and battery pack.

Oh well, maybe I'll show you tomorrow.

The semi-slick tires gave me a bit of a surprise today on the way home, but I was also dealing with a tailwind. I'm notably more tuckered than usual but I actually kept up a good speed on both legs of the commute after going over my numbers. They just FEEL slow, and likely require more effort than the narrower, high-pressure tires I'm used to.

I noticed two more brand new bike commuters this afternoon (and one bike ninja this morning I hadn't seen before) and there was a really old but freshly tuned-up mountain bike locked up next to Hybridzilla at work when I left. This one looked to be hanging upside down in a garage for at least a decade, then taken to a shop over the weekend for an overhaul. New cables, chain, tires, brakes, all installed on a bike with old everything else. Along with the red nu-classic Schwinn Point Beach from May 7th (and a few days after that), this makes the second bike other than my own to lock up here. Or, the third vehicle other than my own if you count the Buddy 125 scooter, which no longer locks to the bike rack, but now to a concrete pillar a few dozen yards away.

What a perfect Segway into Scooterville (pun intended, it's not a typo), has anyone else noticed the scooter phenomenon? I swear, every time I turn around I see 2-3 new bicyclists on the road, adorned with backpacks or cheap seatpost racks loaded with stuff. But for every new bicyclist I see on the road, I see more than five scooters! The entire motorcycle lot at work (perhaps 30 spaces or so) was, for the most part, full. And there were maybe 4 actual motorcycles there. The rest were 50-200cc scooters. This mirrors what I'm seeing on the road as well. I can't go anywhere without hearing a weed eater engine sneaking up behind me then zipping around.

You'd almost think people are getting it. The little petite chick driving the 12-foot-wide black Hummer H1 all by herself and parking it in front of Town Topic for breakfast every morning? How about the 1980's Caddy doing burnouts and donuts in the middle of Southwest Blvd to do a U-turn? Yeah, they restore my faith in the ever-present IQ deficit of Kansas City motorists.

The Monday night ride was a blast. We went cyclo-X style complete with a running dismount to go up some stairs, around a corner, and into some neighborhood. Then, we later did some off-roading. Mark's rides are always a blast.

I wound up with a little under 50 miles for the day. I still haven't caught up to Dave, what with his little 90-mile training adventures and century club rides. I'm looking forward to riding with him again for Friday's June Full Moon ride.

Random Tunage:
The Chemical Brothers - Out Of Control
Nikki French - Total Eclipse Of The Heart

I remember back to 1995 when I loved this version of Total Eclipse. It got some major radio play.

KC Bike Week 2008 Day 5 - The Wrap Up

This week was a huge contrast to 2007 Bike To Work Week on many levels:

• The weather cooperated every day, with only a few mornings in the 40°s and no rain.
• I am in better shape now
• I live 9 miles closer, making my round trip more feasible. 30 miles instead of almost 50.
• I helped plan this one.
• I got to ride with friends every morning and most evenings. I only encountered Chris once and Karen twice last year during Bike To Work Week.

It's worth mentioning that I met both Chris and Karen during Bike To Work Week last year. Not only that, I met both of them BECAUSE of Bike To Work Week. I really have to pay homage to last year's Bike To Work Week event. It was pivotal on many levels. Not only did I meet two people would eventually come to be my favorite commuting buddies, but the event itself flipped a switch. That switch was one that made me look forward to the days when I could avoid the bus by riding my bike all the way. Prior to last year's event, I would bus to work, and seldom but occasionally ride all the way home. After that event, and after I moved, it was a frequent thing to ride the whole route. One year later, the permanent effects of that moment are still evident.

This is technically the last day for Car-Free Challenge. This is the main thing I was participating in. It's completely possible that people haven't finished logging their miles yet, but I am done with my miles for the Car-Free Challenge. Here's how things stand.

• 182 miles of bike commuting and errands
• 15 miles (7.5 mile points) worth of bus riding from my trip to waldo and back.
• 8.7 miles on a slow-paced group ride monday (not counted)
  

This puts me in 13th place for bicycle transportation, and 20th place among all alternative transportation users.

I am a wee-bit grumpy about some participants this year who seem to fail to understand the "spirit" of the Car-Free Challenge. Epic thousand-mile interstate road trips don't keep congestion off the road, even if you're car-pooling. Logging recreational rides as commuting isn't fair. Riding a mile to school with 3 kids doesn't entitle you to 4 commuting miles because there were four of you on the road. And stopping at a convenience store along that 40-mile training route you were going to ride anyways? That doesn't make the entire training ride's miles count as an errand.

In discussing the rules with other Bike Week Committee members and some of my Convoy Crew, it's apparent that some verbiage needs to be added. Care should be taken, however, to not exclude those of us who for one reason or another either already choose to or are forced to use a bicycle as a primary mode of transportation. I'd rather avoid phrases like "trips that you'd normally use a car for"

Guess what, though? I'm not in it for the competition, nor am I bitter. I just did what I'd probably have done this week anyways, and logged my miles accordingly. My commute wasn't going to score me a place in the top ten; I knew that already. I already have my rewards: increased health, money saved, and many friends made over the past year and a half thanks to bicycling. This includes finally meeting some more people this week who know me from the blogosphere and took the time to say hi. You know who you are.

Aside from the car-free challenge, I hit the following Bike Week events:

• Family Bicycles pit stop on the Trolley Track Trail
• Mayor Funkhouser's LAB/BFC Platinum press conference

What's next this weekend?

• I'll be riding my bike to the PHP User's Group meeting at Daily Dose tomorrow afternoon
• I'll ride to my place of Worship on Sunday
• I'll also ride to my Birthday party after church, at a local park.

To me, though, This pretty much wraps up Bike Week.

Here are some pics from the homeward commute this evening.

My new shifters. Thanks, JR! Compare to my old grip twisties.


Karen and Chris behind me on Turkey Creek Trail




Karen and Chris ahead of me going through the 79th St. Industrial Park


Eight braze-ons. Count them. I checked, and there are at least 8 more on the back. If you count all the eyelets on my three bikes combined, I have the same number as Chris has on this one touring bike.


Yes, I have some bike envy.


Oh yes. I'm finally a Flickr Pro. I didn't think I would take the plunge, but I simply have too many photos up there to not go for it. Of course, it will take about a year for the ads on this site to recover the $25 I spent on it. Some people collect stamps. I pay someone to host my pictures and keep them organized. Mostly (but not entirely) so that you guys can make fun of my photos. Whatever.

Soak it up, this weekend. It looks like we're in for a continuation of the nice weather.

Random Tunage:
Orbital - Lush 3-2
Fragma - You Are Alive

Ready... Set...

GO!

Today was the official kickoff of Bike Week in Kansas City. I am not really partaking in the events this weekend because of how crazy things are right now, but I'm stoked about Monday's commuter convoys and all the other events. Many thanks to the volunteers who stepped up to make this Kansas City's most extensive Bike Week so far.

It looks like my convoy might get a few seconds on a local news channel (KSHB-41) so set your TiVO or wake up early and watch their morning news. You might just see us!

Speaking of media attention, one of KCTV 5's crew is taking the bike challenge, riding and writing. Check out Amanda's Bike Blog. Thanks for the tip, Eric.

I just got done pulling the photos off of my camera from Friday's homeward commute. I didn't take many good ones, but this one just popped out at me. Its completely non-manipulated (aside from scaling it down, and I have the 5MP RAW if you want it).


(Canon PowerShot A530, RAW, f/3.5, shutter 1/200, ISO 100)

I'd normally crop it, probably to 16x9 and get rid of part of the tree trunk to the left, but I wanted to show it as is. I don't know why, but it seems surreal and the fence almost looks photoshopped into the scene. It's not a particularly breathtaking photo, but it really caught my eye.

Friday's homeward commute was just me by myself at a pretty solid pace. I had my first vocal interaction with a displeased motorist this year on Southwest/Merriam coming toward Antioch. Some teens in a riced-out Acura Integra (you know, lowered, big spoiler, huge noisy exhaust cannon, and thumping stereo system) passed me, and the passenger called me something unintelligible. What was funny is that they were at the tail end of some traffic that had to slow down in my wake while oncoming cars made passing unsafe. Ergo, I was holding the line of cars up (at 25 MPH in a 35 MPH zone, oh the horror).

What they did NOT bank on is the fact that I had a nice 8 MPH tailwind and the particular section of road we were on is nice and level. This makes speeds exceeding 40 MPH possible -- but only in short, sprinty bursts since I'm still just a fat man on a bike. With the punks stranded behind cars going a smidge under the speed limit, I hammered, and hammered some more. I wasn't going to do anything other than hang onto them at a safe enough distance to shut down if they did something mean. The passenger -- with eyes as big as saucers -- was turned around staring at me. Then, the driver freaked out and passed 4 cars illegally in a no-passing zone.

Stupid kids. Bikes aren't always the 5mph sidewalk-mobiles you remember as a toddler.

Random Tunage:
Paul Van Dyk - Face To Face (Piano Mix)
Nine Inch Nails - 10 miles high

Another reason I choose my bike: Bumper Cars!

Believe me, I have plenty of reasons to justify using my bike downtown regardless if I ride it all the way or throw it on the front of a bus. It's not like I need any convincing.

Today, while sipping on my daily dose of fatty, caffeinated carbohydrates, I saw a car. I see plenty of them, but this one was pulling in and out of a parallel parking spot. I watched the driver take about nine tries to get her car parallel parked. Three of those attempts resulted in rear-ending a lamp post. Two of them resulted in rolling her rear tire into the curb, another try got her successfully backed ONTO the curb. I believe she probably scraped her front fender on the chrome bumper of a parked pickup truck at least one of the times, and she finally got parked. Not surprising, she was on the cell phone the entire time.

I told JR he could get rich quick if he just stood there on Main street and offered to parallel park these idiots' cars for a few bucks. This and several other snide remarks from me resulted in Lorin and JR calling me a jaded grouch that's crotchety beyond my years. I can't say I disagree with them too much. I could probably blog a few times per week posing as a curmudgeon who's got a serious bone to pick with the world. How'd Lorin word it? Something like "Observations from the rocking chair."

No sooner did the Inner City Soccer Mom (JR's Words, not mine!) finish banging her Grand Prix up on Kansas City's streetscape, a pair of nincompoops in a PT Loser start having the same problem. Four attempts and two scraped wheels later, the driver (if you can call him that) has somehow managed to park, but leaving almost a foot of room between the car and the curb. Look, pal. You already trashed your wheels. There's no need to park in the middle of the traffic lane. He made up for it by backing firmly -- and almost intentionally if I do say so myself -- into the SUV behind him when leaving.

There are other horror stories of people getting their cars damaged in the very same parking garage my bike resides in while I'm at work, too. It's pseudo-valet parking that's 3-4 cars deep. You park, then hand your keys over so the cars can be moved if someone who's boxed in needs to leave. Hard telling if it's other car owners or the "Skilled" valet drivers to blame for dings and dents in the garage. I'm just glad I park on a bike rack by the Motorcycles, where there's plenty of room. Although, now that I watched a Grand Prix successfully back over a 6" curb and into a lamp post, I'm really thinking twice about using lamp posts as improvised bike parking. In fact, I'm wondering if the bike racks that are a full 8' from the street are vulnerable to these drivers.

Random Tunage:
Masters & Nickson - Out there (5th Dimension)
Crystal Method - Blowout

It must be in the air

Seriously. It feels like I've dealt with more rude behavior on the road this week than the sum of all of winter combined. I'll get to that in a bit.

Over lunch, I took a trip to Raglan Road, a new authentic Irish restaurant drawing its inspiration from real Irish pubs. You know, the ones in Ireland. The interior was strikingly vivid, rich in detail, and pleasing to the eye. This was just across the street from Sprint Center where the Big 12 tournament games are going on, so the game was on TV and the place was packed.









I had the Fish 'n' Chips. Good Stuff! But not worth waiting 90 minutes for.



Okay, so on with the commute. I saw this happen right after I left work:


I actually came from the other side of this wreck, but rode up to make sure no one was injured. I was on the phone with 911 as I took this photo. The cop (visible left) was just pulling up. The Tiburon hit the curb and stopped, then got bumped by the semi, which swung the car about, destroying the rear suspension (which the two drivers are examining). No one hurt, but north and southbound traffic was stopped on Broadway at 3:40ish on a Friday afternoon. In short, this is A Bad Thing.

So, I'm on a bike, home free southbound on Broadway with virtually NO traffic going my way. It's about this time that the stuck northbounders start making impromptu u-turns in the middle of the road. This includes a taxi, who nicely let me pass before completing the turn. Then, there's this guy:

He did a u-turn after the taxi, then got up on me at a stop light. Ahead in my lane, a UPS truck blocks the road. Common for this time of day, and if I were driving I'd NEVER use the outside lane on Broadway going southbound. I used the sidewalk. I beat the taxi through the intersection, and hopped off the curb after the UPS truck back out into the road. The taxi was behind me in the other lane, and mister "I have a new Volvo XC90" pulled in right behind me after the UPS truck. Then he tried nudging in between me and the taxi. Then he saw he wouldn't stand a chance of getting around me, and pulled in behind me as I turned right onto Southwest. All along Southwest, this guy was bullying cars around. At one point, he almost ran another car into oncoming traffic. At the next stop light, I took the above photo.

Passing Boulevard Brewery, I ran across Karen. A little ways past Antioch, we both nearly got right-hooked at the same time by a red Civic. Sorry, no pictures of that one.

Oh well. I'm done ranting.

All kinds of interesting stuff

Let's see... after last night's post, it was determined that I had to make yet another grocery run. I don't know what the deal was last night, but I just wanted to push really hard. I'm fat and out of shape. My lungs certainly are better off than they were two years ago, but as you can tell they're still in need of conditioning. Over short distances, I can lay it down pretty hard if I want to.

With the nearest grocery store just a little more than a mile away, I hit it really hard, and it felt good. I caught my breath while grabbing some items from the store, then hit it hard on my way back home, but not before I stopped in the parking lot to pick up a really nice, heavy duty bungee cord someone had left laying around. This also reminds me... I saw a VAULT DOOR for what looked like a small gun cabinet next to the dumpster at my apartment complex. I love locks, locksmithing, and that kind of stuff. No clue what the vault door was doing there, but it's obvious that someone had to partake in destructive entry. I forgot to pick it up last night. I'm only writing this here so I remember to go check it out this evening and see if it's still there. If so, I'll probably disassemble the door (it's usually easy from the inside) and get the lock to play with. Locks are like puzzles to me, and I am an amateur locksmith among other strange traits.

Enough rambling. This morning, you can imagine I was greeted with sore legs. Very sore legs. Although I stretched well last night both before and after laying the smack down on the pavement, I still have a lot of soreness. I took it easy on the way to the bus this morning. The ride happened to take me through two miles of fog so dense that it looked like mist in the sharp beam of my LED light. There was no hammering to be done. I averaged about 10 miles per hour this morning.

Coming off the Quivira Viaduct (where I kind of pushed it a little on the downhill) it was apparent that I was being tailgated by someone driving a PT cruiser. In no hurry and with an open lane to my left, I putzed along at maybe 12 MPH. Just cruising. It's a slight uphill. The driver remained glued to within 10 feet of me. As I approached the entrance to Circuit City, the driver finally decided to pass me. Now, I'm guessing this person was staying behind me because they needed the right lane. And there's only one reason you need the right lane when the left one is empty. It's because you want to turn. I slowed down more in anticipation. I was completely ready for what happened next, but it still cheeses me off. I got right-hooked by some old lady, hunched over her steering wheel. I had to turn with the PT cruiser to avoid broadsiding it because the driver slowed way, way down to turn. I rode along side it and pounded on the window. She screeched to a halt, startled and rolled down the window. I screamed at her, and she said she didn't see me.

I'm going to interject here. This is just insane. She didn't see me? Why was she pacing me? Does she just drive 12 MPH all the time? Why did she use the left lane to go around me? Does she always go into the left lane before making a right turn? Did she somehow miss 10 LEDs on the back of my bike, and two bright orange reflective strips? As she passed me, did she somehow miss half a kilo-lumen of photon energy in her passenger mirror?

Whatever. I told her to be more careful. She didn't apologize. She just drove off. Situational Awareness. I have it. Others don't. I'm conjuring up all kinds of mayhem which I could have wreaked upon car and driver in the moment, but chose not to. I'm talking air-hanky in the passenger window, Gatorade on the leather seats, and cleats meet paint kind of mayhem. Also, Kansas did just recently pass a Concealed Carry program. Not that I would stoop to the level of cage-ragers.

Ah well. I took a nap on the bus (I actually hate when I do this) and showed up to the coffee shop with Lorin to find JR waiting for us, and a new, unfamiliar bike next to the door. A dark navy frame with totally unfamiliar markings. Very thin stays and fork. Definitely steel. Likely custom. Black and purple bar tape. Racy looking, somewhat old school but not ye-olde school. This must be Andrew's bike. He comments here on occasion and had mentioned yesterday wanting to meet up with us. Now, because of various things that had happened last summer, I thought that I'd already met him, but I had not. Today was Andrew's maiden voyage for bike commuting, and he's starting off with a nice multi-mode setup riding from Prairie Village to Waldo, taking the bus to downtown, then riding some more to get up north.

So, our little bike commuter coffee clan had four members again. Bob dropped off the face of the earth back in September, so it's been a while since we've had four bikes outside of Starbucks all at the same time. It was nice running into Andrew. Hopefully bike commuting works out as well for him as it has for so many others.

This is a great time of year to get started commuting by bike in the great plains. As it warms up and gets lighter, things seem to get easier and nature tends to lend itself to longer and harder rides and the discovery of more interesting, possibly safer routes. It also gives you a good solid six months to get helplessly addicted to the habit of riding a bike damn near everywhere as you build your obsessions on all the wonders of the bicycle. Apertome also started about this same time last year. As it turns out, he became a pretty serious year-round bike commuter, even if his cow-orkers don't realize it. Maybe we've hooked another one.

Random Tunage:
Erlend Øye - The Black Keys Work
Stabbing Westard - Save Yourself (whatever happened to these guys?!)

Friendly Scofflaws

You know my favorite kind of scofflaws? The friendly ones. Those are nice. What's a scofflaw, you ask? It's one who scoffs at laws, of course! You see them everywhere. They cut people off in traffic. They go 90 on the highway. They ride their bikes through red lights. And they embrace it.

Can you guess what else they do? They barrel through crosswalks when they don't have the right of way, but they wave and smile at you. Because they're really just that friendly. So, thank you, soccer mom in the burgundy Ford Excursion with license plates WTE something. My helmet off to you for your display of kindness. It really brightened my day that you took the time to wave as you blasted right past this:

Do you know what that is?

First off, it's thermonuclear yellow and it's sticking out of the middle of the road. I know it had to have caught your eye. It also has one of those red-n-white octo-whatever shapes on it. I know you might not be able to read one-syllable English words, but a stop sign is a stop sign, and they're ubiquitous and universal here in the US. I know you have meals to cook, mouths to feed, and kids to pick up from practice. Please, for the love of all things good in the world, learn what to do when you encounter a sign like this in the future, especially if there's someone waiting patiently to enter the intersection. Smile and wave all you want. Just make sure you stop as well. The five seconds it sets you back will be rewarded by knowing that some nerd (like me) isn't going to berate you on the Internet.

The same goes for you evil school bus drivers.

You a-holes don't even wave. Bastions of safety with your day-glo orange vests, your powerful traffic-stopping swing-out signs and four-way blinkers. You'll stop at railroad crossings to guard the lives of those on board. You'll radio the cops if a car passes while your stop sign is out. At the same time, you refuse to give pause to pedestrians with the right-of-way in crosswalks unless you're in a school zone. I would laugh at this dichotomy if it hadn't resulted in countless close calls. Wonder why your dispatcher chewed your ass out over the radio? It's because I called you in, nimrod. You are driving a massive vehicle with your company's name all over it. Each one of your ginormous twinkie-shaped kidlet carriages is individually numbered. This isn't so kids know which moron to ride home with. It's so people like me can return the favor when people like you make my life hell.

Can you guess what else scofflaws do? They litter. They throw Sonic and Burger King cups, cigarette butts, and all kinds of jetsam and flotsam out the windows of their cars so that they can be whisked away into storm drains by rain or street sweepers. The rubbish doesn't end its journey there, though. It traverses a series of tubes (not the Internet) and winds up in a creek or a river somewhere, kind of like this.

What? Can't see it? Let me zoom in for you.


Okay. I need to turn this post around. My blood pressure could probably burst a tubular tire right now.

Really, my ride home wasn't that bad. I just felt like venting. Enjoy some more photos.









The wheel is going to attack these people:




I haven't seen this truck before, but this guy's campaign was something like 3 years ago. I guess Scofflaws also like to deface things. But this was chuckle-worthy.


Obligatory close-up

So here's the deal...

Conditions determined that the proper place for me to be was on the sidewalk. Ballyhoo, chastise, berate or otherwise scold me if you will. I'd challenge any of you to ride this street daily without touching sidewalk. Any one of you between the hours of 4:30 and 6:30 PM. Unfortunately, my home is on the north-west part of a two-highway junction and the crossroads of two of the gnarliest arterial roadways in the region. And somehow, almost any bus I take has to drop me off in such a place that I get to play frogger on a daily basis.

Anyway, I was approaching an apartment driveway when a guy pulled up to exit. At this point, the sidewalk was clear. He made eye contact with me -- and what with my DiNotte set to "DESTROY" and all, how could someone NOT notice me?

Then, the douche-canoe pulls up and blocks the sidewalk. There are cars coming up that will keep him off the road for a good while, so I don't know what he's thinking. Or rather, I do. He's being a prick. I slow down and he motions me past his front bumper. I proceed. But he's turned too far for me to ease back onto the sidewalk. No problem. bunny-hop the curb, shimmy back onto course, right?

Well, not really. The snow was hiding some really gooky mud. Front wheel wedged. I endoed.

Then, the guy pulls out really slowly, as I stand up. He gives me the "why the hell did you fall over?" look while shrugging his shoulders as if he's part of the Rock Racing SAG team or something. ****ing ***hole.

It was too late to lay the smack down on him, but I know where he lives.

****ing ***hole.

Do I smell mexican food?!

I have to get to the Bike Week meeting really quick, and then I guess I must pillage yet another front wheel from my big closet of parts, so I'll have more details for you later. I'll just say a ****ing moron in a Camry was involved. Anyone have some nice 26" XC rim brake wheels laying around?

Stupid Kids.

Well, two of the same kids from a few days ago were out again last night. Again, they yelled something at me. I think I'll chase them down and get pictures of them for you guys if they do it again this afternoon. It's about time I set aside my own personal Hall of Lame. I have to deal with a lot of lame things and people throughout the course of an average month. I'm sure I could make a weekly column out of it, in fact.

I was actually too busy tinkering with old CCTV cameras and messing with my DiNotte light last night to post. Aside from a run to Radio Shack adding some ticks to my odometer and resisting the urge to leave tire tracks on some punk kids' faces, yesterday and this morning were without event.

Random Tunage:
Green Day - Basket Case
Cut Copy - So Cosmic (Hour-long Mix-mash of Electro Tracks)

... and a faggot, too!

On the last leg of my commute, I ran over across three kids in their late teens with snow shovels. Apparently, I am a faggot as well. I've been called that a few more times than I can count. Way to be original, guys. Sadly, I'm taken by my wonderful wife. Sorry, boys. You ain't getting none of this.

To further amuse me, one of the impetuous youngsters had the chutzpah to ask me for a dollar. I can only assume that they were wandering around, offering to shovel driveways and parking lots for money. I gave them not word nor gesture in return, but if that's how they treat people they want money from, I'm thinking that their pool of beer money is going to remain scarce.