Tuesday, May 27, 2008

"Thirty Miles Per Ham Sandwich, Sir!"

I'll get to the headline quote in a moment.

Yesterday was Memorial Day. I think I ended up making three separate trips to the grocery store due to one count of broken-down communication and a count of stupidity. I saw these evil twin police cruisers at a local cheesesteak shop. Mind you, I might ride a bike, but I have a soft spot in my heart for sharp-looking cars, and I happen to think that these are some seriously sexy police cars.

At least one of those grocery runs was made on my way home from the Monday Night recovery ride, so it wasn't a total disaster. Speaking of the Monday Night ride, I saw this and lol'd.

Then there's Dora, who is not amused that "I stoled her yarm."

I cheated and took the bus this morning. A whopping two miles ridden. I went to bed late, woke up late, and was expecting a storm when I woke up. Instead, I just got wet pavement that my fenders would have made short work of. Lame.

So, here's what happened. I was cruising down Southwest Boulevard, just about to enter Johnson County. I approached a stop light at a pretty good clip, probably 25 MPH or so. There's a huge pickup behind me. The light changes, and there's no way I'll make it. I downshift, signal my stop, and start braking. I also move over to the right. The pickup pulls up next to me. F-650 Super Duty dually. Nice. Triton V10 or something like that, who knows. Noisy as hell and reeks of Diesel fumes. I hear the passenger window roll down, and glance over. Two hard-workin' American guys inside. Just about what you'd expect. I'm ready for "Git off duh roawwwd" or something. The ensuing dialog went something like this:

Passenger: "Hey there, what kinda mileage ya get on that thing?"
Me: "Thirty Miles Per Ham Sandwich, Sir! Trying to make a living."
*Some huge belly laughs come from inside the truck.*
Driver: "Right on. Be safe."
Me: "Thanks, guys!"

Not all is as you would expect. It's why I don't judge until it's earned. Condition Yellow, I suppose, keeps me cautiously guarded with 360° situational awareness and ready for almost anything. I'm willing to accept adversity, but I expect kindness and adversity alike, ready for both.

Later on during my homeward commute, I quite literally ran into some chalkwork on Turkey Creek Trail. Outside the spectrum of kindness vs. adversity, it was, in fact, unexpected.

Nearing Aristocrat Motors, I saw these two guzzlers in the overflow parking lot. I can tell they're jealous.

Sorry, you really have to admit, that Porsche has some voluptuous curves and seductive lines. Sitting next to that bricky made-over GMC Yukon, she seems even more sleek and gorgeous.

Great Scott! 1.21 Jiggawatts!

Miscellaneous Photography

I dropped a pair of oldsters. :P Naw, these seniors were just out for a nice cruise. You don't stop riding because you get old. You get old because you stop riding. I almost made the man crap his diapers as I passed. I guess he wasn't using his mirror.

Oh, the business park. Not to be confuzzled with the Industrial Park. This is the last leg of my homeward commute. It's a curvy road with smooth, easy hills and not much traffic to speak of when I roll through.

Jeez, do you think this guy sells... I don't know... stickers or something?!

See this green crap on the ground? It's the bane of my existance. It's everywhere. It's on my cars. It's on the trails. It's in the parking lots. It gets slimy and slippery when wet.

The offending tree. No idea what it is. 15 years ago, I could have told you. Frankly, I replaced most of my botany knowledge with something similarly useless after graduating high school.

Random Tunage:
Madonna - What it Feel Like For A Girl
Spirallianz - Heiterheute (rmx)


Anonymous said...

That GMC Yukon is a Hummer H2. Not that it matters mind you. If you've seen one moving brick, you've seen them all.

Noah said...

I said "made-over" Yukon, and linked to a wikipedia entry showing all the trucks that share the Yukon's platform (which includes the H2). I know full well what it is. I just fail to see the point.

MRMacrum said...

I almost called you on it too. But then I realized what you meant and kept mum. As Joihn says, it does not matter, one brick tends to look like another.

Apertome said...

Cool photos, as always. I really like the ham sandwich quote, I might have to use a similar one sometime. We've got the same green crap on the ground here, it's kind of gross.

Anonymous said...

I think that is a Locust (sp) tree. I've got some of them in my back yard.

Noah said...


This is very cool.

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